A Glimpse into Fatherhood

So the other night, I lost a bit of sleep due to my child. This should not come as a shock to you, or garner any sympathy, as being a parent, this is the territory I live in. Right now, however, as you know, we’re living in a bedroom of Sara’s parents house, and as baby L’s routine is all but destroyed, he’s been sleeping in bed with us during this transition.

During the process of teething, as some of you know, a torrential downpour of snot is a symptom (at least in L’s case). As you can imagine, the ability to for a child to breathe is absolutely necessary. If you have seen a child fall asleep, you know there’s little rhyme or reason to the position they finally collapse in, and sometimes, this leads to the nose being plugged.

I believe as adults, we typically wake up and blow our nose, roll over and let it fall out, or just start snoring. L does the snoring, but he has developed this little hiccup, let’s say, where he wakes up in the middle of the night, whines for a few minutes, and eventually falls back asleep. Typically I can sleep through this, or if I do wake up, I fall back asleep as quickly as he does. However, on this night, I could not fall back asleep. I laid awake and listened to him struggle for no less than an hour, despite the fact that I was working hard to suck out his boogers and such in the dark (as hard as it sounds). It was a no-win situation.

As I laid awake trying to think of ways I could prop him up so that he could sleep while allowing his nose to drain (I was seconds away from the car seat), a thought occurred to me: I was not upset, I was not unhappy and I was not worried about myself; all I wanted to do was help L to sleep better.

It is a really fun feeling when you realize that all of the icky stuff of being a parent is not all that icky. It is actually quite fun and rewarding. As baby L grows and gains confidence in walking and talking, I’m realizing that he will soon be a full-blown toddler and not the little baby who fit between my forearm. I am starting to feel those feelings that I believe Sara got frequently every time L reached some milestone.

More children at this point is something I want to have. I am patient, and in no real hurry, but I am finally open to it again after a tough birth experience. The time will come when baby #2 (hopefully) comes along – we planned the first one to fit Sara’s school schedule as best we could, and I feel like we can try to do that again in the future. {For clarity’s sake, Sara is not pregnant right now.}

I am a bit behind in Sara in coming to this conclusion. If she had her way, we’d have babies on the way sooner than humanly possible, as she frequently reminds me of her desire to add to our family and to have another dosage of that baby stage, as her first “baby” was rolling over, growing teeth, babbling, crawling, standing, eating big people food, etc. (She wanted a new one at each stage, and since they all progress essentially at the same pace, we could have had a dozen kids before L could construct a sentence.)

Obviously, we need to get into this house first, make it our own, get L back on a schedule, and make promises to our dog Wyatt that the moving is over, but I’m more than confident now in my ability to cope as a parent, and that is a happy feeling.

I still do really need a nap, though.

{Photo by Creative Kindling}

About Jord

jord considers himself nerdy, mostly because he's a devoted gamer and freelance web designer. he works in computer technology and information services, but he'd be most proud to tell you that he recently built himself a computer, loves audio books, trying new beer and wine, grilling, and is so excited to have added "homeowner" to his list of titles.
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