there and back again.

This isn’t hobbit tale, but more of a self-reflection in my return to blogging. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and I know that at least Sara has noticed. Summer is a weird time for me. I look back at my past efforts in blogging, and the summer is almost always a dry spell. This, at first glance, is quite odd to me.

However, when I think about it more, I’m spending my summers quite busy with many tasks. Before Lionel, there was baseball, softball, friends, family or whatever activity keeping me busy. Now with Lionel, there’s less of those activities, but way more family outside activities. Plenty to do, and plenty to write and discuss, but nothing in the tank to put into words.

It’s weird; I probably started four posts in my unannounced hiatus and couldn’t get through a sentence or two before it became painful to write. Painful might not be the right term – maybe more exhaustive. I’d write a sentence, and instantly, everything past that became work, as if to say each word I wrote was harder than the last word. Today, it’s not like that. It’s quite different, actually.

Perhaps it should not be a surprise, but maybe I’ve been trained to just auto-pilot through the summer. But, with today being the first day of fall, something has switched on. From the days of Kindergarten through my Master’s Degree, summer has been the break from study. Maybe that’s why writing during the summer doesn’t work. Maybe it’s because I’m busy doing other things. I don’t really know.

This free-flowing writing exercise, which is what I’m calling it, is probably the first real reflection on my time in a while. My psychological studies probably have an answer for the experience I’ve had, but at the moment I’ve got nothing but guesses. And that’s okay.

This summer was full of fun. I stood up for my best friends for their wedding, celebrated my son’s second birthday, celebrated my 29th birthday, celebrated my 4th wedding anniversary, did my best to care for Sara through the second trimester of her pregnancy, spent weekend days on my dad’s new boat, worked on some projects, ignored some others, won a fantasy baseball championship, and overall, I’m quite happy with how things turned out.

And now I’m blogging again. Maybe it has nothing to do with summer at all. A new video game called Destiny came out a few weeks ago, and I’ve put more hours than I’d like to admit into it, but video games have always been a source of creative flow for me. Perhaps they go hand in hand?

With a second child on the way and additional obligations being taken on, my life lately has been about eliminating clutter. I thought I was efficient with my time after Lionel was born. Now, I’m finding even more ways to focus on fewer things. It’s hard on my brain to do this, but I feel pretty good about trading four or five activities for one I can focus on. Maybe six months from now I’ll be singing an opposite tune. Who knows? But, look at that – I’ve busted out 500 words about nothing and everything, and I’m back in the game.

About Jord

jord considers himself nerdy, mostly because he's a devoted gamer and freelance web designer. he works in computer technology and information services, but he'd be most proud to tell you that he recently built himself a computer, loves audio books, trying new beer and wine, grilling, and is so excited to have added "homeowner" to his list of titles.
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