what i’m most looking forward to.

dear sweet baby boy in your Mama’s belly,

here’s what i can’t wait for, dear child.

meeting you for the first time, feeling my heart expand in size over and over and over again, bigger than i ever thought it could go, Grinch style. and finally putting to rest that plaguing, annoying, i-know-it’s-wrong-but-can’t-shake-it feeling of, will i have enough love to go around?

i know that i will. once your eyes meet mine, i know that God will make more than enough room for you in this heart of mine.

Daddy-Mama-L-Birth

seeing him be a Daddy to a newborn all over again. seeing him hold you, swaddled, like a football, just like he held your big brother – so tender, so close – just so – tightly enough to allow the freedom to twitch and tingle and turn and wiggle, like newborns do – just like sand in the palm of his hand.

Daddy-L-Hearing-Test

seeing this one be a big brother. i know that he will feel protective of his toys, his books {and, let’s be honest, his Mama}, and that he’ll endure bouts of jealously when we care for you, the little guy who will join our world this winter, but oh, i know that there will be tender moments, loving moments, moments in which the world slows, and the glittering light of the sunshine, ever reluctant in the chill of December, touches the snow, creating glimmers as it flies and sparkles.

Lionel - Baseball - Summer 2014

it’s in those moments that i’ll know – that this, yes, this slowing-and-quickening of heartbeats, of time, of life, this life – it was never in my plans, but it was always in my dreams.

xoxo, Mama

About Sara

Sara works in higher education, but she's most proud of her role as a Mama to two precocious boys, Lionel Conner, age 4, and Quincy August, age 2. In honor of turning 30 in 2016, she pierced her nose to "keep her young." She loves watching guilty-pleasure television, writing about motherhood, decorating her first home, sipping red wine with her husband Jordan, and chasing after her sons.
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