When Bad News Turns Into a Good Thing.

{A note from Sara: It’s no secret to many people in our lives that we’re eager to welcome another child into our family. Lionel has blessed us immensely, and we anticipate the moment when we become parents for the second time. Like many couples, our efforts to bring another child into our world have not yet been realized, which is frustrating and confusing and difficult to endure at times, particularly because our efforts to try for Lionel were so quickly rewarded. While we haven’t been trying long – we’re going into month no. 5 – it feels like an eternity at times, particularly for me (Sara). In response to a particularly difficult month of trying, Jord wrote the post below. We’re sharing this here in hopes that Jord’s optimism sparks hope in some of you – and in us as well.}

Newborn-Lionel

As I reflect on the times that I call my life, I get a second (and sometimes a third, fourth, fifth, even a hundredth) look at the events that have occurred. Some days, these reflections are a real burden on myself and certainly on my wife, as I will, at times, rise on my soapbox and talk myself, my wife, or whomever into the fact that we could have done something else, something better, something sooner.

I’m learning, particularly within the past few years, that the roller coaster of life is not the type that is breaking records or that has a high thrill rating, even though we may believe it to be so, particularly when we’re feeling at our lowest of lows or our highest emotions. Instead, I’m learning that life’s amusement park ride is actually more of a mild kiddie roller coaster that does go up and down, fast and slow, and has tiny bouts of anticipation, anxiety and thrill. In other words – the ride is very mild.

To each of us, individually, however, this kiddie-coaster is all we know, and as we endure yet another sharp turn or a slightly bigger drop, everything seems excruciatingly (or excitingly) immense and difficult to handle. In short, it is not easy to ride our own roller coaster all the time.

I think that sometimes we get bored or dissatisfied with our own ride, that we see other people’s rides and we want to have what they have (What?! They turn left when I turn right? I need to turn left!). Sometimes we get on this path where we think we want to turn left, and then God forces us to turn right, or perhaps not turn at all. We’ve gone left before, and we’ve enjoyed that process and want to feel that again, but this time, things don’t work out, and so for another period of time, we’re headed in the opposite direction of where we want to be going. Despite our best efforts, our greatest wants, and perhaps even our most passionate prayers, we’re forced in a direction that we would not have picked if the situation were anywhere close to “ideal.”

Perhaps, as a lesson, we get pushed into these directions to get the second chance to appreciate what we perhaps missed the first time(s) we rode this roller coaster. Perhaps we missed some of those times because we were busy, or because we were doing it for the first time and couldn’t possibly understand the beauty of what we had, of that first experience. In other words, I’m learning to love what I have, to be patient for what I want, and to tell myself that “it’s going to be okay” when things don’t go my way.

Even if regret stings and hurts when you reflect on what you don’t have right now, be it a material thing, another child, a fancy car or a feeling of security, remind yourself that even though you could have done something more or appreciated something more, when the time is right, things will happen as they should happen. Life’s little happenings are rarely ever perfect, rarely ever timely, but in that, perhaps life actually is perfect and timely. Who knows what lays ahead in our lives – nobody can really know. But with a little faith, it’s possible to know that things will come together soon enough.

And now, a letter to my wife:

Sara,

This post started as a post about me and quickly turned into a note that I meant for you. I know that it truly is hard for you when it feels like failure each time you get that painful reminder that our second child, our second pregnancy is not here yet. Sometimes these short months of waiting and wishing for another child become a blessing of reminders to reflect on the incredible journey we’ve been on with Lionel for the past 21 months since he’s arrived. May the reminders of those blessings never end, no matter how much they can hurt from time to time. I have faith that eventually, you and I will have our greatest dreams realized.

Love,
Jordan

About Jord

jord considers himself nerdy, mostly because he's a devoted gamer and freelance web designer. he works in computer technology and information services, but he'd be most proud to tell you that he recently built himself a computer, loves audio books, trying new beer and wine, grilling, and is so excited to have added "homeowner" to his list of titles.

One Response to When Bad News Turns Into a Good Thing.


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